The Average American Woman

Yesterday was what you might refer to as a ‘bad day.’  Not only did I work for 14 hours on my ‘day off,’ but the Seahawks managed to find a way to lose, which didn’t make me very happy.  Oh yeah, and the Huskies imploded during the third quarter for the third consecutive game.  Dang it!!  Today, I’m tired and suffering from a mild headache that has come around because I decided to drink a bottle of wine last night as a means to forget the day.  I just wish that the team’s wins and losses didn’t affect me so much.  When either the Seahawks or Huskies lose, I just get a mean case of the blues.  It bums me out.  Last night, I must have looked either severely dejected or incredibly irate because the vagrants that typically harass me when I walk around at night stayed as far away from me as possible.  It turns out that the safest way to walk through downtown Seattle at 10pm is to just look as dejected as possible.  Nobody will bother you then.  On a side note: I get so sick of people not letting me walk home at night.  I mean, seriously, how dangerous do they think this city is on a Sunday night?  Granted, it’s not exactly ‘safe,’ but it’s not like its Watts either.  It’s Seattle, people – on a Sunday night nobody is ever out on the streets.  On the walk home, I was texting a friend of mine and as soon as he found out I was walking home, he insisted on driving me the rest of the way.  So, I stood there – on a street corner – waiting for him to get there.  Is that supposed to be safer than walking the three blocks I had left to get to my apartment?  I don’t know, maybe my perspective is warped.  I’ve just always felt so much safer in an urban setting than I do in the suburbs.  The suburbs are creepy and sort of unnatural in my opinion.  There’s more of a ‘what happens behind closed doors stays behind closed doors’ thing there whereas, in the city, it’s all out there in the open.  We live so close together that closed doors don’t really even count as a barrier.  After I was dropped off at my apartment, I went upstairs – but mostly because I didn’t want my friend who had dropped me off to know that I was going out (didn’t think he’d approve, as it was a school night).  After I saw him roll down the street in his incredibly sexy Cadillac, I walked right out my door again and went over to the 611.  I love that spot.  It’s just a great bar to chill at and they make some mean bitch pancakes (aka: crepes).  It was my friend Ben’s birthday yesterday, so after about an hour, the entire Street Team rolled through.  I don’t know how it happened, but I’ve been incredibly blessed when it comes to the people in my life.  I love my friends so much and they really helped calm me down yesterday and put things into perspective.  My ‘bad day’ really wasn’t so bad in the grand scheme of things… actually it was quite good.  I always try to put things into perspective in terms of what’s really going on in the world – a bad day to me might be a great day for someone else.  Last night though, a good friend of mine told me that I shouldn’t discount or devalue the things that are happening in my life.  My life can’t be compared to anyone else’s because it’s completely different from everyone else’s… ya know?  Sometimes I need something obvious like that to be said to me before I can realize that it’s actually true.  Lately, the same person has been opening my eyes with these little epiphanies with shocking regularity.  He’s one of my best friends and someone that I really have a lot of love for, but don’t know if I could ever really be with in a romantic sense for entirely too many reasons to even begin laying out right now.  He’s just a great person with a solid heart that is actively trying to make himself a better person while refusing to deny himself of anything.  I can really relate to that in a lot of ways.  I try to make myself better every single day and actively challenge myself to step up to the plate in a lot of different ways.  I’ve been questioning my motives and beliefs lately on a lot of different levels and I really want to figure out what to do with my life from this point and differentiate between what I want to do, what I have done, and why I want it – are there things in my life that I’m doing simply because I feel like I’m supposed to?  I’m sure there are.  This guy helps me ask these questions and has opened my mind in a number of different ways.

Things I spent money on this weekend that I didn’t need and the justifications I used to buy them:

• Stuart Weizman pumps – I had been scoping them since I saw them in the Nordstrom catalog four months ago.  They’re tri-colored round-toed suede pumps with jewel-toned red, purple, and magenta coloring.  I had nothing like it in my shoe wardrobe and they’re perfect for fall weather… except when it rains.  I won’t be able to wear them when it rains.  Otherwise, they’re sublime.
• Seattle Marathon registration – technically, I could run the race without paying.  The problem with that is I doubt I would actually show up without committing financially.  Now, there’s no turning back.
• A dress, scarf, and new book from Urban Outfitters – I found a dress that I loved in a new color (on sale!!) and my scarf from last year is lost.  Books are always essential – they improve oneself better than anything else can.
• Apartment furnishings – Technically, I don’t need anything else for my apartment, but it’s just so plain that I couldn’t bear to live there without actually hanging some more pictures and such on the walls, at the very least.

I spent well over $700 this weekend.  Dang it!!  I did not intend to do that and now I’m going to have to pinch pennies for the rest of October because of it.  At least now, I have everything that I need to get me through the winter (almost – still need to go grocery shopping… and buy new sheets).  I think that my justifications are pretty valid though, so I’m not regretting any of my purchases yet.  Plus, what am I doing working so much if I can’t spend my hard-earned money on stuff that makes me happy?  

I fell off the wagon this weekend in terms of triathlon training.  I know, I know… it’s only been a week and I’m off the wagon.  WELL… I started up again yesterday with a solid 40 minute bike ride at high resistance and brought my gym stuff to work with me today, so I’m going to do 40 minutes biking and 40 minutes running tonight when I finish up here.  I always get so side-tracked when friends come home and it was my best friend’s first weekend back in America after two years in South Korea !  What was I going to do – run on a treadmill and sit at home instead of seeing her??  I think not!  So, we hit up my favorite spot on Friday night and danced until the joint shut down (which is a workout anyways, obviously).

Saturday, I was so hungover that I couldn’t get out of bed until I had to put on my happy face for an appearance at the restaurant.  I had to be lead hostess on Saturday and it was soooo busy that I actually psyched myself out a little bit over it.  Everything went so well though, the GM even said I ‘impressed him’ with my stellar hostessing abilities.  It’s about time he realized how good I am at what I do.  Hostessing is so simple and the regular lead just makes way too big a deal out of it.  The job description reads as follows: smile, flirt, repeat.  As long as you can get that pattern down, you will succeed as a hostess.  That being said, I am a champ.  I guarantee I could out-smile and out-flirt you on my worst day.  I was terribly disappointed in the turn-out on Saturday night at the restaurant.  There were no cute guys there at all!  The only good thing about foresaking a Saturday night to work in a restaurant is that you are inevitably going to be surrounded by scores of beautiful men.  This was not the case on last Saturday.  They were all old, the appropriate age and ugly, or minors and cute – none of which are my target demographic.  I mean, the bus boys were the cutest people in the restaurant, which is not good for my game (and frankly, it’s not good for the restaurant either).

Sunday… oh what a day.  First of all, I’m not even going to go into the terrible, horrible, no-good game that was played.  NOT going to go there.  Don’t even ask, it only upsets me.  Not only did I have to suffer though that, but I had to do it with my mother, which only intensified the suffering.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom – I just feel like if I don’t do every little thing her way, I am going to make her cry or something.  There were four teary-eyed moments on Sunday, for absolutely no good reason.  I think she might really be losing her mind.  We watched football together in the morning and then I invited her to help me shop for apartment stuff.  Typically, when my mom and I go shopping, she foots the bill.  This is how it has always been, without question.  This was NOT the case yesterday.  She offered to pay for a cheap mirror, but only because she had hung my rather expensive mirror in her den.  I looked at her and said that I’d rather just have my mirror back, but she started tearing up again so I left it alone.  I mean, seriously, I could have gone apartment shopping on my own, I didn’t need her there.  I just needed her wallet.  After shopping for a little bit, we went to dinner with my gramma, where she shot down four shots of tequila without thinking twice.  My gramma is so nuts, but in a really funny way.  I swear, the only good part about getting old is that you can legitimately act like a nut and people can’t say anything about it because you’re old. 

Life Update 10/8/07:

What a terrible game yesterday.  I mean, seriously, we sucked.  On the bright side, I bought a new pair of shoes Saturday.  I’d probably be pretty depressed right now if I didn’t have them.

Most of my best friends are scattered around the world right now.  Two of them live in South Korea, one in Australia, one in Sienna, two in Arizona, and another in Iowa.  In order to keep them updated on my day-to-day without filling up their inboxes, I send them 'life updates' every few days.  Mostly, they're just little quips about my random thoughts, etc. and I thought I should include them here... for reference sake.

Life Update 9/29/07:
I just started training for my first triathlon. I'm tired and my feet hurt... but in a good way. This weekend will be the best ever for three reasons: I have a hot date with my hairdresser, my best friend is moving home from SK, and UW's gonna upset USC in a legendary battle on Montlake. I can't wait...

Life Update 10/3/07:
I'm sick. Also, I'm in the market for a personal assistant. Primary responsibilities will include the following:
1) Decorate/furnish my apartment (I've been there four months now... it's time to unpack)
2) Make chicken noodle soup
3) Screen calls from my mother
Compensation is negotiable. Please inquire for more details.

I ran a full 3.7 miles yesterday in 40 minutes, which is really good for me.  I ran at 5.0 on the treadmill, which is around 12 mph and wasn’t even tired at the end!  I felt really good, like I could do more, but I didn’t want to push it since it was really only my second day of training.  I signed up for the Seattle Marathon!!  Well… okay.  I am GOING to sign up for the Seattle Marathon on Friday.  I promised Leila I’d do it with her and I’m actually amped about doing it myself.  I’m going to participate in the half.  It’s a little over a month away (I think around 6 weeks from now) during Thanksgiving weekend and the only bummer about it is that it’s the day after Apple Cup – which means that I am NOT going to be able to party hardy like I have in the past.  Maybe that’s not such a bad thing. 

My days as a complete and total lush seem to be winding down.

It’s absolutely pouring today.  Winter has arrived in Seattle , it’s like we skipped over fall altogether.  Luckily, the bus tunnel has reopened and I’m going to be utilizing it tons.  It was SO fast to get me to work this morning!  Usually, my commute takes me about 30-40 minutes, depending on if I miss a bus, or the bus is late.  Today I got to Qwest at about 7:35, which means it only took me about 20 minutes MAX to get to work!  I am so excited to sleep in from here on out, I hardly know what to do with myself. 

I love the bus.  There are always such interesting characters on it.  Last week, I rode right behind the crazy political activist/bum that stands outside of Barney’s New York every day and it was pretty enlightening.  Until then, I had always thought he was some crazy bum that didn’t have a job or friends and just stood on the street yelling at cars all day long.  I couldn’t have been more wrong.  He was riding the bus with three other men (who, I might add, were all speaking the same crazy made-up language that he does), he had a bus pass, and he didn’t smell funny.  Therefore, he is apparently neither outcast nor bum.  Then, today, it was hot-dude central on the bus ride.  There were so many cuties that I didn’t even know what to do with myself.  Luckily, I had taken the time to do my hair this morning, so I didn’t look like total hell.  I hate it when people have bad hair – there’s just no excuse for it.

Tonight, I’m going to Viceroy with the street team after I finish up work at the restaurant.  Ben’s been DJing there every other week and it’s been a surprisingly fun time.  I mean, obviously I like the music he spins, but I usually hate the crowd at the Viceroy.  It’s such a weird spot – it’s super hip and dark, but it’s also in the middle of yuppie-infested Belltown, which is NOT such a hot spot in my mind.  Pop Rocks (the name of the night) has been drawing a pretty good mix of peeps though; it’s basically like going to any venue on Capitol Hill, but with only the people that actually matter.  Hopefully I won’t get there too late.  I have to close at the restaurant tonight and I’m pretty sure James is the closing manager, which means I will be there SO late.  I don’t even want to think about it.  James is among the worst managers I’ve ever had.  He’s great with guests and knows his shit when it comes to wines, but he has no management skills whatsoever.  Well over half of the time, I feel like jamming a frenching fork in places that wouldn’t feel so good for him.

I did my first triathlon workout yesterday – 80 minutes on the bike at the gym.  I don’t have an actual bicycle yet, as mine is being worked on (it needs new tires and a general tune-up since it hasn’t been used in about 7 years).  I split the time between the upright and recumbent bikes and did intervals for the whole 80 minutes.  At times, it felt like a long time to be sitting on a bike, but once I finished it didn’t feel like any time had passed which is good.  I was really exhausted yesterday did feel faint a couple of times when I was on the upright bike – I’m going to keep an eye on this and see if it really was just exhaustion or if there is something else going on.  I only got about 3 hours of sleep on Saturday night because I stayed over at Rob’s place on Saturday and then had to get to Qwest Field by 8:30 on Sunday morning – I was SO tired!!  Anyways, I’m really excited about training for this triathlon.  I’ve been working out for years and years, but it’s been forever since I was working out with a purpose and it feels good to be getting back to that.

Also – I dyed my hair this weekend.  I meant to go dark brown, but it’s pretty much black.  I like it though… but it’s intense.  It might fade out a bit in the next couple of days, we’ll see.

I was at Barnes & Noble last week and a book called ‘The Average American Male’ caught my eye.  I can’t remember who the author is, but I grabbed the book, sat down, and read the entire thing – cover to cover – in about an hour.  Granted, I’m a pretty fast reader, but I’ve never actually sat down in a bookstore and devoured a book quite like I did that one.  It was in the fiction section, which prevents me from accepting any specific incident in the book as fact, but I find it hard to believe that the book is entirely based in fiction.  Essentially, it’s an anonymous portrait of an American man in his mid-twenties, living in an urban setting in America .  It’s vulgar, loud, and highly obnoxious (which are precisely the reasons I couldn’t put it down).  After I put it down, I decided that I simply must find a similar voice for myself.  Perhaps not so vulgar, loud, and obnoxious – but honest and uncensored.  That is what I hope to put forth in this blog.  Here is my story so far:

I’ve lived in Seattle for my entire life.  I was born, raised and schooled here, and now I work here.  I’m a liberal non-feminist (I know, I know… interesting combination) and I don’t belong to a church, although I was raised Episcopalian.  I graduated from the University of Washington two years ago and now spend my time working in one of two places: as a hostess at El Gaucho Seattle or in the advertising department at an athletic corporation in the city.  In the past three years, I’ve moved from the University District to Greenlake to Belltown and now reside in the mucher edgier/trendier neighborhood of Capitol Hill.  In my humble opinion, Capitol Hill is the shit.  It is the only neighborhood in Seattle where you can’t see three Starbucks on every block – instead, you can see three transgender individuals alongside two college students, a hippie, a yuppie, a hipster, and a gangster.  I love it.  As much as I love Seattle , I’ve been getting a major travel bug lately and might have to get out of here in the next year.  My stint at the athletic corp. is over in March and I just might jump across the pond to Australia and New Zealand for a couple months – just to see what’s out there.  That’s a hypothetical though; I’m not very good at making plans.  For now, I’m just throwing every other paycheck into savings and will go from there. 

In the meantime, I will focus on losing the 20 lbs I’ve gained since college graduation by participating in a triathlon in February.  That should be interesting, but I figure that I’ve always wanted to do one and there’s really no time like the present to go after it.  It’s difficult to train when you work as much as I do, but what else am I really doing with my free time?  I don’t have a television, so I’m not sitting at home and I really don’t have any extra money lying around, so I’m not shopping… I think I’m actually just spending too much of my free time partying with my friends, which needs to stop.  I love to work out and need to focus myself on becoming a multi-sport athlete.  I’ve been looking up training plans on the internet and found a few that are 12-16 week programs with reasonable time commitments.  I plan on spending 5-6 days per week training for the triathlon.  Additionally, I am going to do some real grocery shopping tomorrow morning and adjust my diet to help shed pounds that are inhibiting my training process.  The way I look at it is, I just turned 24 and before I hit a quarter-century, I want to have accomplished something HUGE.  Travel is on the horizon and I hope to be in another part of the world or country at this point next year, but intermittently, it is very important to my development for me to accomplish a major physical turn-around.  Word.